it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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