The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
