the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
