it was like his penis was on wheels.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
