Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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