I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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