Porn is love you can see.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
