It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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