So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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