She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
