if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize