Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
and you fell through a lawn chair
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
