i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
