Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
