She said her name was "party"
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize