scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
