I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
