You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
