my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
not ubering you a puppy
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
