So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
