I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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