This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
