So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i would punch a child for taco bell
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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