Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
