just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
