I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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