I saw his package. It spoke to me.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize