I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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