Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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