No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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