i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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