OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
