so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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