If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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