And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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