All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
