IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
