doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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