The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
