make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize