if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize