she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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