Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
