my room smells like sperm. sweet.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
