I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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