Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
