Sry I called you an 8
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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