i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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