I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
