sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
