remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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