I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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