i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
