I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
