Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
