Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
