yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
