So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
