I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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