You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Holy sore nipples Batman
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
