Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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