I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize