My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
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