proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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