the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
