I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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