she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
