1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
