Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Randomize