what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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