After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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