Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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