To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize