this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
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