the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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