i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
