i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
