I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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